The Lights of Pryncess Tiwi.

      College life was full of notes. What I mean by notes here are literally the notes for every subject in every class. I always tried my best to create proper notes on every subject, but it wasn’t always worked the way I planned. There were conditions when I was really tired to make a note or simply couldn’t hear what the lecturer said that day. Shortly, I couldn’t catch up and missed those notes.

Near the exam periods, I usually asked my friend’s kindness to lend me her notes and copied them so I could read and learn the exam materials by myself. It was the first time I noticed her. After copying her college notes, I got amazed by the handwritings. It was really neat. I love her fonts . It made me happy even when reading about boring college subjects.

People who can maintain a neat and easy to read handwritings are the perfectionist ones. It may sound irrational, but I completely agree with this belief, and I always keep that in my mind. Yeah, there were moments when I interested in learning the graphology, become the expert on that, and could understand the people’s personality just by reading their handwriting. But those moments were never come into reality. It just evaporated in my dream. In fact, I don’t know anything about reading handwriting style moreover their personality. But I still believe that she is a perfectionist.

As the time goes by, I started to learn about her. We became close; she is one of my inner circles now. Trying my best to think about her, I came up with that moment when I get amazed by her handwritings. Some of my hypotheses are true. She is a perfectionist, but in a good way. I still remembered, when we were in our last year of college, she told us that she wanted to wear braces. Wearing braces for some people is easy, they can ask her mama or papa to take them to the dentist and voila, they will go home with their teeth covered by the shiny braces. But for some people like her, getting to wear braces using her own money, which she gained by her own hard work, is some kind of an achievement. It was like a dream comes true. She is one of the people who inspire me to think forward about ourselves. It is true that we may not have everything we want now, but we should be patient and work hard. Eventually, we can get what we really, really want.

Our friends call her princess. Maybe it is because of her thin tone voice and her gracious attitude or her preference with gold and shimmering stuffs. Funny thing happened when we bought cupcakes for her latest birthday. We wanted to arrange the cupcakes to be written as “Happy Birthday Princess”. We found the mini happy birthday signage. We already found the “P”, “R”, “N”, “C”, “E” and “S”, but we couldn’t find the “I”. Therefore, we used the “Y” instead to replace the “I”. Finally, it read as “Happy Birthday Pryncess.” Surprisingly, it was cute, and because of that we keep on writing her name as Pryncess not Princess, until now.

Yes it is true that her voice is really soft, but you should not underestimate her. She can work like a horse and also stand up to defend her rights. So you better watch out, guys. Don’t take her graciousness wrong.

She is also one of the people who advise me in a way to make peace with my past. One evening, we met at a restaurant. We chatted about our life then I started to tell her about my past, about how I desperately want to forget about them. She said that, “You won’t forget them. You just can’t. Everywhere we go, we will take them as parts of us. Every place we have been with them, will remind us about them. So just stop trying to forget, because it will never be forgotten.” Oh God, why I never think that way?

All in all, I always try to learn something from people I met, including from my close friends. She is one of them. She is one of the people who taught me about surviving. Who taught me about the importance of setting goals for ourselves and working hard to fulfill them. She is our pryncess, who maybe without her realization, had taught her friends not only to be gracious, but also to always fight to reach the dreams.  

Pryncess Tiwi, keep shining like the diamonds in the sky!

Just Say Hi

Not that I plan to stay blogging regularly, but...
Somehow I just want to say Hi. I even do not know, to whom I said it, but anyway...
Regarding the last post I made which titled of Being Grateful, indeed, I really.. really am grateful with what I have.. what I had.. Of course, ups and downs are always there. However, God who really really kind to us had been giving me strength and lots of nice friend and family who always be there when I needed them.

I want to say that, every person has its own path in life. No matter what kind of path it is, just enjoy yours. I think that my path is not good in the beginning, but it turned out that I could handle it.. With all the tears, sweats, laughs, smiles... I find it that my path is also interesting. I am sure that this stage will contribute something huge in my life, Although I am not knowing it all now. Because, every stage of our life is like dots, that we can connected later, and we can know the meaning after all dots are fully connected.


Job.

Graduated from an Institution called Engineering did make me feel a weirdo when I decided to enter a job as a banker. My feeling is not good at all at first. And believe me, being a banker means you are ready to be put in an endlessly stress 5 days a week. Especially if your job is a Relationship Manager slash Account Officer. What are your tasks? Well, it should have been very simple, you meet the client, chit chat about their project, you gather information and documentation, you make a proposal, and help them to disburse the loan. Simple is it? HAHA you think!!!!! The fact is.. this job is like a hell.. Dealing with people. Believe me. And please believe me. Dealing with people is much much much more Frustrating than dealing with Numbers. There is no exact equation in solving the problems with people. I could say that this job, needs a special skills in People Handling section. You could be a banker who does not care with people, but in fact, as I am a woman who could easily distracted with something called Feeling, your problems with people could be depressing enough to make you cry. 

Ok, enough about those ugly side. The good side in my job is.. I could meet various businessmen/women who passionate about their work, who succeeded in build a company, who's been head over heels to get up after force majeure attacked, who really brave to take risks, who do not care about other people as long as they got what they wanted, who really greedy, who really humble, who really rich even can buy the ferrari without telling their parents (by the way we are at the same age), who intentionally or not had taught me valuable things in life. I also learned about various industry, and I should admit that 3 years in this job, and I proudly say that I know NOTHING. Really nothing.. There are soooo many things in every industry that you have to learn. And somehow, 3 years is not enough. I learned about Oil and Gas Industry, Shipping Industry,   Property Industry, Textile Industry, Manufacturing.. and I just learn their pieces. Interesting. Don't forget about financing, structuring financing to a company is also a good thing that I learned in this job. Meet the lawyers, learn about the laws, meet the notary, knowing what they do, is the various little things that also I experienced in my job. In short, I am grateful with what I learned. I even more grateful with the team I worked with, who's been really kind and like a family. They are great people, they had been taught me well and gave me the experiences where I maybe could not have it in other universe.     

Travel.

My first travel abroad is presented by my Big Boss in the office. He is really really beyond kind that he planned a holiday with our team + family  to Hong Kong & Macau. And.. it was free.. Yep! He is so kind, and I wish he had a long live filled with more and more blessings to come. For the only member who had not been abroad before, I got lots of jokes from my Supervisors, but I don't care. I had so much fun back there, something that I won't trade for any other things.. My first office outing is at Singapore. I met with my relative who lives there and I had so much fun also. I was nervous at the first when I am about to landed abroad.. But the feeling is more or less not that "high". I am happy that I have been traveled to other country, but what made me really happy is actually, the people who we traveled with. 

Oh, and I never been to Bali until.. I planned to take a block leave and go with my close friends. Atika, Sofi and Astrid are the friends who accompanied me. I must say that I love Bali. Gasped with the Beach. I went to Pandawa Beach, which, perfectly fits with my Imagination of Beach. All I can see is the ocean. It was quite, Lots of Sands, and I was there with my close friends. It was beautiful. I accidentally went on Bali when APEC event was about to be held, so it was not easy at all when our last day in Bali. However, I am really grateful, I could go there, Sleep in a Nice Rooms, Eat the Nice Foods, Seeing the Extraordinary Views, and of course, Travel with The People I Love. 

Socials.

I still remember when one of my friend in the office share the story about Kelas Inspirasi. It started when I see the Profile Pictures of my friends in BBM contact list. And somehow, I felt that I know the person. I asked the confirmation about the picture. It was true, She is the person on the picture. The pictures is a woman who really enthusiast while teaching in a elementary classroom. I was interested. The next months later, she told me about Kelas Inspirasi 2, that she's held. Yes, she is one of the pioneer of Kelas Inspirasi, and she was one of the committee in that project. She told me that if I am interested, I should apply to be one of the volunteer, and I was really interested. So I applied, and get accepted. Yay!! 

I met with the coolest team ever. With the same vision and spirits, we were teaching at the Elementary School for 1 day. It was not easy at all. The children have so many energy, so many power which successfully made me all over sweats that day. But I am really happy. The feelings of realize that we already positively contribute to other people is beyond words. Moreover, My team is filled with the people who's had various career. There was a Fashion Designer, Consultant, Lecture/Founder of Social Foundation, Comic Artist, HR practitioner, Flight Attendant, Investment Analyst, and more. Meet with them, has been able to talk with them, share the work with them, are the things that I treasured in this year. I am planning to be more and more giving to my society. No matter how small it is, I want to give the Inspiration to other people. 

Dreams.

If someone asked me, what was my dream. I was hoping that I could work on the world that 180 degrees contrary to what I had now. I wanna be a Designer, a Writer, a Film Maker... something that I could not be for right now. But My friend Ina, she was pursuing her dreams, she took a master in Publishing, which I find it cool and extraordinary. She also constantly remind me of my dreams. With her, I believe that Someday I have to pursue my dream. Someday I could be it. But for now, contributing to her Digital Magazine Project and our Story Project have made the empty slot in my heart somehow filled properly. I pray that this project could be sustained for a long term. I also pray that I could keep remember of my dreams. The things that I really wanna do in my life.

Family. 

Yeah, we are now keep surviving. Mom, and my little siblings. Life is never easy, but the family made me sane. Holding on together, we hope that there will be a White Light there. :)

So, this is me saying Hi. I am not planning to say Hi again soon, but who knows.

Just.

Be Happy, please ....

to be grateful

bersyukur adalah hal tersulit yang bisa dilakukan oleh seorang manusia..
banyak orang yang merasa telah bersyukur dengan keadaan dirinya, tapi aku yakin dalam lubuk hatinya yang paling dalam, keinginan itu akan selalu ada dan menghantui setiap aliran darah manusia..

berjuang untuk bisa bersyukur juga yang sedang aku lakukan sekarang. merasa bahwa semua yang menjadi atribut diriku ini juga yang memberikan tak lain dan tak bukan adalah Tuhan.. sehingga harusnya aku tidak boleh kecewa dengan apapun yang terjadi dalam hidupku..

seberat apapun cobaan yang diberikan. sesulit apapun tantangan yang menghadang. sedikit apapun uang yang dimiliki. sekecil apapun dimata orang lain. serendah apapun status yang dihargai di masyarakat. sebesar apapun tubuh yang dimiliki. selama apapun penantianku terhadap kebahagiaan. sesedih apapun aku merasa..
aku harus bersyukur.

ya Tuhanku. aku memohon pada Mu. biarkanlah aku merasa bahagia dengan keadaanku, lapangkanlah hatiku, ringankanlah perasaanku, agar aku bisa benar-benar bersyukur dengan apa yang kumiliki saat ini. agar aku bisa menginginkan apa yang kumiliki saat ini.

Amiin.

ps: im considering about one of my bestiest said that i should make like a blog or what to be the album of my words.. since my another bestiest put my words in the campus year book, there were some of my friends asked me to make some words to express the feeling or emotion or simply just to tell somebody or people what their expressions were. and i'm happy of that. if people could read my words and feel them too. :)
well.. i guess we have to wait for the album :)

my sister's keeper

i really love the book
really..
but not really with the movie..

and the fact that today i almost lost my sister
has been made me cry loudly..

God.. i love her very much
please take care of her.
i cant be my sister's keeper all day long..
but
i know You have the power to keep her safe.

my little sister, ivi..

i can not imagine, what if something bad happens to her again...
i just love her..

please God..
take care of her..
please..
i dont wanna lose my family any more.. :'(

cry in loss

loss adalah kerugian, kehilangan begitu menurut sederet.com my favorite dictionary digital :)

sesiap apapun kita, kita ga akan pernah siap untuk kehilangan.. ini adalah kalimat yang waktu itu pernah diucapkan seorang deddy corbuzier (out of the blue, banget) dulu ketika dia kehilangan ayahnya dan diwawancarai oleh infotainment.. kata-kata dia melekat banget di dalam ingatanku, dan aku pun udah pernah merasakannya. kita gak akan pernah siap untuk kehilangan.. apapun itu.. pasti ada sesuatu yang ga bisa kita tahan.. sesuatu yang bolong.. yang melubangi hati kita dan kita ga bisa tutup itu dengan apapun. sekuat apapun kita. kita pasti merasakannya.

waktu papa pergi untuk selamanya, aku udah tau, karena papa sakit dan gak sadar selama berminggu-minggu di rumah sakit. tetep aja aku nangis banget ketika detak jantung papa beneran berhenti untuk selamanya. waktu acara malam wisuda oktober, kita semua tau, itu adalah malam yang akan kita habiskan bersama 200 orang lainnya di bandung, dengan gembira.. segala perjuangan yang telah kita lakukan, kita tau bahwa kita akan menempuh jalan kita masing-masing. tetep aja, air mata tumpah ketika saling mengucapkan selamat tinggal, take care, bersalaman dan memeluk teman-temanku tersayang. dan baru-baru ini, salah seorang teman akan keluar dari program training kantorku, dan again, aku menangis.. aku tau kalo kita pasti akan berpisah, tapi tetap aja, aku ga bisa gak nangis. aneh banget, padahal kita jadi temen juga baru 4 bulan.. waktu yang gak terlalu lama. kita juga bukannya selalu menghabiskan waktu bersama.. tapi entah kenapa.. air mata betul-betul gak tertahankan, waktu mengetahui secara pasti bahwa dia akan pergi. jadi seperti itulah yang namanya kehilangan teman seperjuangan yaa..

sebenarnya aku penasaran banget, sama cara kerja tubuh manusia ketika menangis. bagian mana dari otak, atau hormon apa yang mempengaruhinya, ketika merasa kehilangan, kontan air mata tiba-tiba jatuh berceceran. apa hubungannya perasaan kehilangan dengan air yang ada di mata. ujung-ujungnya, mengapa manusia butuh menangis? selain karena memang masalah matanya sakit jadi nangis.. tapi mengapa ketika yang dirasakan itu bukannya fisik melainkan di pikiran saja, mengapa otak bisa mengirim sinyal untuk menangis? apa sebenarnya yang terjadi, karena setelah menangis, banyak juga orang yang merasa lega.. menangis itu adalah luapan emosi.. mungkin sama ketika kita berteriak marah, atau bergembira..

tapi buatku.. ketika aku kehilangan.. kehilangan sesuatu di dalam hati dan pikiranku.. kehilangan itu bercampur bersama dengan air mataku. 'sesuatu' itu pergi, pergi bersama dengan air mata. air mata dalam kehilangan adalah kendaraan untuk 'sesuatu' yang ada dalam perasaanku keluar..

air mata akan selalu ada sampai kita pergi nanti.. air mata akan selalu diciptakan dan diproduksi oleh tubuh ini atas perintah Tuhan, untuk menampung hal-hal lain di dunia ini yang akan kita cicipi.

Indonesia without Hollywood movies?!

KACAU..
ga bisa lah ini..
ga ngerti deh kenapa bisa dibuat peraturan bea masuk segitu gedenya.. 23.75% cuy..
belom pajak nonton ke daerah yang besarnya 10-15%..
mau apa sih?

coba yaa kita bayangkan dampaknya, kalau bener Motion Pictures Associations (MPA) gak lagi distribusiin film kesini. Bioskop akan sepi.. jelas karena film Indonesia ini belum stabil.. lagipula, Hollywood itu udah kayak kiblat perfilman seluruh dunia lah.. Namanya juga kiblat, masa mau ditiadakan sih.

Terus berarti yang namanya DVD akan semakin banyak yang beli.. apalagi yang bajakannya.. terus nanti.. akan banyak layar tancep yang muterin film dari dvd bajakan di lapangan parkir luas yang gedee.. trus nontonnya dari mobil-mobil, atau bisa juga gelar tiker..

Cineplex dan Blitzmegaplex apa kabar yaa nanti?

Sekarang gini deh, apa pemerintah Indonesia itu sudah merasa mendukung perfilman Indonesia? apa pemerintah Indonesia sudah banyak membantu filmmaker yang berbakat untuk ikut festival-festival ke luar negeri?
apa pemerintah Indonesia memberikan kemudahan sineas-sineas untuk berkarya?
Setau saya, mereka yang bisa pergi festival ke luar negeri, yang film nya banyak ditonton orang karena promosi gila-gilaan.. itu adalah cucuran keringat mereka sendiri.. dan tentunya, pemerintah masih belum memberikan perhatian yang besar untuk dunia perfilman..

Kalau kita mau ngomongin soal dampak, pasti yang lebih banyak adalah dampak negatifnya..
bayangin aja kalau bioskop sampai gulung tikar... karena penonton jadi sedikit.. berapa banyak orang pengangguran..?? trus nasib filmmaker gimana? sekarang ajaa nasibnya udah gila-gilaan.. kalo ga ada wadah untuk bisa menampung hasil karya mereka gimana?

FILM indonesia itu masih kayak baby, masih butuh 'orang dewasa' untuk bisa bertumbuh dan berkembang.. coba aja, masa bayi mau dibiarin hidup sendiri tanpa ada orang dewasa yang ngurusin.. kan gak bisa.. Dengan adanya film Hollywood yang mostly bermutu dan digarap dengan serius, film Indonesia kan bisa belajar dari film tersebut.. profit dari film Hollywood itu sendiri juga membantu film Indonesia untuk bisa tetap survive di pasaran Indonesia sendiri..

Coba deh tanya ke anak muda jaman sekarang.. berapa banyak orang yang lebih memilih nonton Harry Potter daripada film Hantu Jembatan Layang misalnya...... (Ya Kan?!)

Bioskop itu juga tempat hiburan yang gampang dan gak terlalu mahal kan.. seluruh kalangan bisa menikmatinya.. berapa banyak keluarga yang hobinya nonton film di bioskop.. berapa banyak yang bisa menambah keakraban mereka dengan nonton di bioskop.. berapa banyak yang jadi punya jodoh gara-gara nonton di bioskop.. berapa banyak yang bisa nambah teman baru atau sahabat gara-gara nonton di bioskop.. berapa banyak yang mengubah dirinya menjadi lebih baik gara-gara nonton di bioskop..
dan selama ini.. film-film Hollywood yang ditayangkan di Bioskop Indonesia kan sudah disaring sedemikian rupa sehingga masih layak untuk disaksikan kita semua..

Kasian aja gitu sama orang-orang luar negeri yang lagi tinggal di Indonesia, mereka gak bisa nonton film favorit mereka di cinemas..
jadi negara yang tertinggal mungkin nantinya..

ayolah, coba dipikir lagi pejabat yang berwenang..
masa iyaa, ga bisa ditekan bea masuk nya..?
apa gak ada cara lain, selain itu? masa sih?
coba deh disimulasikan sendiri gimana kalo ga ada film hollywood di Indonesia, dengan kondisi perfilman Indonesia masih gak stabil gini..?

padahal aku tadinya berpikir, Indonesia nantinya bisa seperti negara asia lain yang memperoleh devisa dari film-film yang diekspor.. kalo kita tertutup dari film luar negeri apalagi hollywood, kita mau punya comparison darimana? mau mengembangkan diri bagaimana caranya..

admit it, kita masih butuh film Hollywood..
ya kaan paak .. buu..

:'(

lets buy some books

i really want to buy this book..

i copy this picture from diana rikasari's blog (dianarikasari.blogspot.com) but she didn't tell much about this book in her blog.. so i really curious, what does this book about?

but i had a feeling, because one of my best friend prils said that maybe this book is good for new worker like me. yeaah... i believe, every new worker ( i kinda feel like i typed new yorker bahahaha) have to read this book. ouh damn.. i only get few information while googling it:

Retail Price: $24.95 LS Price: $16.95 You Save: $8.00 (32%) Availability: Usually ships within 24 hours Format: Hardcover, 240pp. ISBN: 9780470147689 Publisher: Wiley Pub. Date: September 21, 2007 Average Customer Review:

ohh, and this is the review from the publisher: (http://www.leadershipnow.com/leadershop/9780470147689.html)

The work world is full of toxic people—whine and cheesers, backstabbers, steamrollers, zipper lips, needy weenies, and know-it-alls. Life is just too short to let difficult people drive you nuts in the office. If you want to decontaminate the toxic people in your workplace, this practical guide to office survival will show you how to do it before they suck the life out of you.

This enlightening guide gives you the skills you need to deal with toxic people. Stop doubting your own capabilities and sanity. Don't let them win! Instead, use the survival tactics you'll find here to turn ugly situations with toxic people into a tolerable day at the office—without resorting to hostile or aggressive tactics.

In Toxic People, Marsha Petrie Sue offers unique and practical solutions for dealing with difficult people and the conflict and miscommunication they often aggravate. Using real-life case studies and real-world strategies, Sue shows managers and employees alike how to take personal responsibility for their work environment and take the lead in fostering teamwork, morale, and success. Take charge and decontaminate your office with:

• Seven simple lessons for office survival
• Six major types of toxic people and how to recognize them
• Keys to identify the behaviors that drive you crazy and what to do
• The right words to defuse situations and defang toxic types
• Tips on recognizing lies and insincere behavior
• Case studies and true stories on dealing with almost any toxic situation
• Guidance on developing a positive attitude that rubs off on others
• Tools to develop a dynamic, productive environment
• And other skills and tips to keep you and your office conflict-free

Dealing with toxic people is a part of life, at work and everywhere else. Using the strategies, tactics, and real-world advice you'll find here, you'll learn to change the way you respond to their toxic waste and stop them from affecting your mood or your work. For happier teams, a happier workplace, and a happier you, put down the duct tape and the stapler, take a deep breath, and read Toxic People.

hmmmm, is it interesting?
SOOOO MUCH!!!

okay, so i just have to hunting this book.. hmmm.. gramedia, times, or aksara..
lets see..