what i really wanna do?

right this moment, i should have been writing on second chapter of my final assignments. instead of writing this kind..
but i don't know.. i just don't think that i really want to do it right now.
i know, i have so many reasons to finish the final assignments as soon as possible.
but, i also see that the thing is i do that alone make me feel really not enjoy that. reading.. and reading.. thinking.. writing.. reading again.. thinking again.. and writing again..
what are the hard parts of that? i don't see any, maybe you all don't see them either..
but, it came to my feeling.. my brain.. which made me really hard to read the materials i should read at..

so, the question is..... what i really wanna do?

it's still absurd..
it's still gray..

could someone understand my feeling?

why i am so lazy..
why i am so hard to put effort on this..
why now?
at the moment when i should give my best effort..

please.. take away this lazyness..
please..
please help me..
:(